It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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