Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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