soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
