id be glad to
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
