one might say we're banned from that church
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
