No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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