When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
