I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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