Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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