Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Randomize
