i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i barfeds in our rink
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
