I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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