If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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