Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
