I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
we made out on top of his cat.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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