I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
