One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
