So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
