you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
