where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
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