I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
