He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
