right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
