Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
