So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
