that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Randomize
