i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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