I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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