when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
