Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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