After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
