Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
