Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
