and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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