All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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