Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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