it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
