So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
