She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
