He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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