she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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