Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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