I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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