Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
