I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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