She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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