so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
