I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
