i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
