Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Randomize
