Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
