it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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