Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
